BsOTW #12 and 13: Double Feature!

Whoops! I thought this had gotten posted last week! Sorry for the mix-up…double post today instead!




Name: KitKat Mint
Producer: Nestle

I always liked KitKats. I mean, if they turned up in my Trick-or-Treat sack it’s not like I’d turn them away. However, I don’t know that I ever really went out of my way to actually buy KitKats on their own. Maybe if I’d instead been living here that would have been a different story. Basically, KitKats are way more exciting here. Several posts back I put up a picture of God’s gift to man, also known as Chunky KitKat Peanut Butter. Today I have another variation on the tried-and-true KitKat format: KitKat Mint.



I’ve been so obsessed with the Chunky KitKat Peanut Butters that my perspective might be a little off, but these KitKat Mints seem to be smaller even than normal KitKats. This isn’t a bad thing, though As soon as you open the package you can smell the strong sweet mint infusing the chocolate. As you bite into the candy, the texture is like a normal KitKat (crunchy and crisp) and the mint hits you full-force.



I’m a big fan of mint, but even for me the mint is a bit strong here. I can’t imagine eating a package of these on their own, but I think they might make a classy addition to an afternoon cup of tea or, especially, coffee. Overall, I’m pleased with all the KitKat variations I’m finding here. KitKat is a great, simple chocolate bar that is just begging to be improved and I am willing to test all those experiments!



Name: Mince Pies
Producer: Most anyone…but this particular brand is Mr. Kipling

Mince pies are the very definition of Christmas feasting here. I’ll admit that at first I was skeptical, but over the weeks of Christmas preparation (a period that here starts right around Halloween time!) I’ve become hopelessly addicted. Every grocery store sells dozens of different brands of packaged mince pies (like the ones I’m showing here) and every bakery churns them out by the dozens. Eaten cold, heated, or smothered in a custard cream, mince pies are the perfect holiday snack and when eaten with a cup of tea, you feel like you can run a marathon. Or something.



Mince pies are basically, like their name implies, little tiny pies. The pie crust is filled with a mixture of dried fruits (mostly raisins, currants, apples, etc.), spices (cinnamon, cloves, allspice, etc.), and some sort of alcohol to cook it in (brandy or rum). The name given to this mixture of ingredients, “mincemeat,” derives from the fact that beef suet used to be added to the whole concoction to make it a bit richer (vegetable shortening is normally used today). Also, as recently as the 19th century, mincemeat pies always had some meat in them (often beef or venison) and were eaten as a savory part of the meal. Now they are firmly in the dessert category (thank goodness!)



This particular brand, Mr. Kipling, wins in the adorable department. The pies are topped with a Christmas tree and the box describes its contents as “Exceedingly Merry.” These mince pies are a bit sweet for my taste (I prefer mine to be on the spicier side rather than the sugary side), but definitely set a festive mood with my tea as I finish up the term and get ready to head home for the holidays for a couple of weeks.

BOTW #11: Bourbon Creams

(Sorry for last week’s lack of post and this week’s short one, by the way. I’m swamped with work and trying to get things finished and turned in in time to go home for the holidays).

Name: Bourbon Creams
Producer: Jacob’s (for this batch, at least)

Bourbon Creams are one of those specific-turned-generic biscuits. Like Kleenex, “Bourbon Creams” used to be a particular type and brand but the term is now used to describe any sort of crunchy chocolate biscuit filled with chocolate cream.

Bourbon creams are simple. Chocolate cookies attached to each other with chocolate cream. While they don’t make me sit up and pay attention like Club Milk or Mikados, they are incredibly tasty. Bourbon creams are absolutely perfect for dunking as they are crunchy enough to stay together even in the hot tea and make for a good, cheap, simple tea-time treat (my grocery budget was a bit low this week).

BOTW #...oh wait, nevermind

Yeah, as you may have noticed there was not a new BOTW blog yesterday. In fact, there will not be one this week. I'm uber-busy and stressed and, also, I haven't been to the grocery store in a while. So yeah. I'll try and get back on track next week, but no promises!

Happy early Thanksgiving though!

BOTW #10: Jaffa Cakes

Name: Jaffa Cakes
Producer: McVitie’s

Oh my gosh. I’ve been waiting ages for this one. Jaffa Cakes. Yes. Jaffa Cakes are, to be concise, the best. I love Jaffa Cakes and I’ve loved them since my first trip to Ireland four years ago. I still remember the day that I found out that World Market in Tempe sold Jaffa Cakes. *sigh* Good times.

This week’s review is thanks to a wonderful amazing incredible deal at SuperValu during which I purchased:


See that? 100% EXTRA FREE!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!


Jaffa Cakes are composed of a soft cakey biscuit base topped with tangy marmalade-y orange jelly/gelatin stuff and covered in dark chocolate. Oh man. Here you can see and maybe get a better idea of the texture of the orange filling.


Actually, Jaffa Cakes are a popular remake on the fabulous Pimp My Snack website, which exists as a forum for people who want to take their favorite snacks and make them ridiculously large. Most Jaffa-makers agree that the best way to replicate the orange filling is to make orange gelatin but using only half the suggested amount of water. Imagine Jello made with half the water. That’s the texture we’re talking about.


Jaffa Cakes are delicious and McVitie’s knows it…check out the way the package presents the consumer hotline (you can click on the image to see it larger in a new window). They’re so delicious that they’ve become hardwired into British culture and you’ll hear references to them all the time. Here’s one of my favorite references to Jaffas (it doesn’t hurt that it’s from Spaced, the fantastic British sitcom from the holy trinity of Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and Edgar Wright). Sorry that I cannot embed the video, but you really should click on that link and watch how an innocent discussion about Star Wars ends with one of my favorite snack foods.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZnsOZsA7_4

BOTW #9: Jammie Dodgers

Name: Jammie Dodgers
Producer: Burton’s Foods

If last week’s “Cow Biscuits” were any indication that I’ll buy food based solely on cuteness, this week’s biscuit shows the power of a funny name. May I introduce you to BOTW #9: the Jammie Dodgers.


Described worryingly as “Delicious stretchy jam splodged at the heart of 2 yummy shortcake biscuits,” the red and yellow package of Jammie Dodgers was tossed into my basket this week.

At first glance, the Jammie Dodgers seem a pretty solid contender for decent biscuit status. They are a manageable size, they have the light golden dry and crumbly shortbread biscuit I’ve come to expect, and in the little heart-shaped cutout in the center of the biscuits you can see the raspberry jam glistening. So far, so good.


With the first bite, however, you realize what it was about the package’s description that worried you so. “Stretchy jam” indeed. Rather than the expected delicious silky jam, you’re confronted with something a bit more along the lines of gummy candy. The stretchy jam and crumbling cookie are really a messy and inconvenient combination of textures.


Being a good biscuit reviewer though, you decide you have to follow through and finish the darn thing. Then you realize, about three bites in, that you are…enjoying it. What? How did this happen? By what right has this biscuit gotten better?

You scramble madly looking for the ingredient list on the back of the package. Surely some hallucinogenic agent must be added to the cookies for this result. Then you see it. Damn you, Burton’s. You know exactly what you’re doing, you cagey tricksters. There, on the back of the wrapper, in red italics you read:
“Shortcake biscuits sandwiched with raspberry flavoured jam. What makes ‘em so yummy?”

If only I knew. If only I knew.

And here, thanks to the glories of YouTube, is what I always think of whenever I eat a Jammie Dodger. From his "Glorious" show, Eddie Izzard (my favorite transvestite British stand-up comedian) talks about biscuits on a plane...the relevant bit starts at about the 4:30 mark (and runs to about 7:00, but I recommend the whole show).

Unintentional humor (humour?) of the day...

So this evening I received an e-mail. Nothing too out of the ordinary right? Well, the aforementioned e-mail happened to be from Michael, my supremely useless study abroad advisor in the states. The e-mail was a mass-mailing to all students abroad for the academic year reminding us to register for our special study abroad placeholder class for spring. The fairly unassuming, uninteresting, and uninspiring e-mail ended with this gem straight out of some essay about racism in the 19th century or "Gone with the Wind" or something:

"I hope you are all doing well in your place..."

Why he did not simply say "in your respective countries" or "on your programs" or even just "abroad" I will never know. And yet, I am grateful because I have not stopped giggling yet. Thanks a bundle, Mike. Keep up the good work!

Breaking news...

My friends, good news! John Hodgman* (self-described "minor television personality") apparently plays the ukulele! His final post on the meta-blog BoingBoing was a video in which he held up a beautiful little ukulele and strummed a C chord. *sigh* I think I'm in love...


*Most people will know John Hodgman from his Daily Show appearances and his run as the PC in the Apple commercials. He is also, however, a talented writer (his second book was just released a couple of weeks ago) of false almanacs and compendiums of the wild and weird, and one of my favorite bloggers. You too can read his blog at: http://www.areasofmyexpertise.com

Oh dears...

So, against my better judgement I have made a video. I made this last night, but it took all night to upload (darn sluggish internet connection!)...enjoy?


The Ukulectoral College from Anna Bierne on Vimeo.

BOTW #8: Cow Biscuits!

After last Monday being a Bank Holiday and all, BOTW is back. 

Name: Cow Biscuits
Producer: Elkes
Slogan: “Amoozing Malted Milk Biscuits”

As we’ve seen before, I’m not above purchasing biscuits simply because they are pretty or, as in this week’s case, cute. Behold! The COW BISCUIT!



Billing itself as having “a whole herd in every pack,” this modest little wrapped bundle o’ biscuits called to me from the shelves of SuperValu. Being plain malted milk biscuits, these cookies are your basic simple, dry, slightly sweetened, perfect for dunking biscuit. While they aren’t bad, they aren’t Club Milk either if you catch my drift. The main appeal here, though, is the appearance.



Each Cow Biscuit is stamped with an image. Here you can see four different examples (there were probably 6 or 7 different designs distributed throughout my pack). Not only does each biscuit have an image stamped into it, these images all revolve around cow puns also. Epic win! Here you can see (from left to right):
Moo-dy, Cow Hide, Moo-stache, and Heifer-vescent. And a close-up of Moo-stache. Because it’s the best.



Cow Biscuits were simple, tasty, and affordable. Their cute factor really pushed them over the brink though onto my list of favorite biscuits.

And, thankfully, as the package makes clear: “No cow suffered in the making of these biscuits.”

And introducing...

So last Wednesday, exhausted and ill, I somehow managed to drag myself out of my apartment and go to a concert. A concert for which the doors didn't even open until 10:30pm. I am so punk rock.

Anyways, the show was a band called "Tilly and The Wall" from Nebraska. I'd never heard of them but one of my friends here was a fan.

It was awesome.

The band comes onstage and they're a riot of neon spandex polka-dot striped 1980s fury. The percussion is provided by both an accomplished drummer and a tap dancer. On a box. Yes. With each song they walked a delicate line between pure 80s sugary pop hit and hard-hitting punk energy. Here are a couple of music videos (both from their new album) to demonstrate the difference:

Sugary poppy dancey (and yes, the girl wore that pieced together yellow and pink dress at the concert)


Brasher energetic enthusiasm


If you're interested in Tilly and the Wall (and you really should be), check out their MySpace for more music and concert dates at Tilly and the Wall's Official MySpace

A Letter to the "Editor"

Dear God,

Thank you.

Love,

Anna

BOTW #7: Fox's Cookie Bars

Today's BOTW is actually a purchase from last week during my weekend trip to Dingle (more information on that should be coming soon-ish). Hope the review isn't too....stale! (Bwahahaha!)

Name: Cookie Bars
Producer: Fox’s Biscuits

Not to sound ungrateful or anything, but what’s the deal with all the hard crunchy biscuits? Huh? What’s the deal, Ireland? As the week’s pass, I begin to miss more and more the soft moist cookies of my youth (and of a couple of months ago!). What I wouldn’t give for a luscious oatmeal cookie right now!* For some reason, the Irish just don’t believe in soft cookies. (I would hazard that it has something to do with the general Irish dislike for anything even vaguely undercooked…don’t believe me? Try coming to Ireland and ordering a steak. You wouldn’t have believed it was possible to make steak so dry and tough and unappetizing without first burying it in a pit of hot ashes.)

Unfortunately, Fox’s Cookie Bars failed to be the exception to the rule I was looking for. The packaging lead me to believe that a large cakelike chocolate chip cookie delight was waiting for me. Instead I found this:


It is indeed chocolate chip. It is indeed a cookie (although more along the lines of biscotti than American-style chocolate chip). It is indeed a bar. *sigh* It tasted good, don’t get me wrong, and it was perfect for dunking BUT it wasn’t what I wanted and that makes all the difference.

That said, the cookie has a good “bite” or crunch to it. The chocolate chips are distinct and add quite a bit of flavor to the basic shortbread-like base. One taste surprise here is the presence of desiccated coconut in the bar. The coconut was probably added mostly as a sweetening agent, but the coconut flavor is definitely present (the coconut is not advertised on the package and it’s only because of the distinct taste of it that I even bothered looking at the ingredient list). While tasty (and I’m normally a huge fan of coconut), the coconut was just another element jarring my geared-for-American-style-chocolate-chip-cookie-goodness mindset.


So all-in-all, Fox’s Cookie Bars are a decent biscuit that are good for tea-dunking and have just enough of a touch of chocolate and coconut to keep things interesting. However they’ve fallen prey to my prejudices against all things overbaked and suffer from crushed expectations. I am afraid I face the biscuit world more jaded than before…won’t somebiscuit save me from the dry crunchy oblivion I currently face? (I dream tonight of snickerdoodles, warm oatmeal cookies, and macaroons).

* - In fact, at the quick stop coffee shop/convenience store in the student center last week I picked up a cookie on the counter billed as an “Oatmeal, fruit, and nut cookie” thinking that surely an oatmeal cookie would be moist and delicious with my cuppa hot coffee…No! That sucker was dryer than the Mojave and harder than a block of concrete! So my disillusionment continues…

BOTW #6: Kimberley

Name: Kimberley
Producer: Jacob’s Biscuits, Jacob Fruitfield Foods Limited

After the surprising success of the Mikado taste-test, I decided to pick up the Mikado’s companion biscuit: The Kimberley. (as a side note, I saw this past weekend black currant flavored Mikados but I was out of town and couldn’t spare the backpack room to haul a package back to Cork).

The Kimberley has many similarities to the Mikado (the soft biscuit base, marshmallow fluff, and overall prettiness) but one bite lets you know that this is a whole different biscuit!



Whereas the main flavor of the Mikado came from its pseudo-raspberry jam and coconut, all the flavor in the Kimberley is focused in the biscuits sandwiching the marshmallow fluff. Soft and moist (a luxury, I’m beginning to realize as it seems the Irish simply do not believe in soft cookies…ah the things we come to miss), the biscuits have a sharp and distinct ginger flavor. The flavor was unexpected but appreciated. I, for one, love the taste of ginger and the addition of the flavor to the soft biscuit gave the Kimberley a lovely mellow spiciness that you can still feel on your tongue after you’ve finished the cookie.

The other aspect setting the Kimberley apart from other biscuits is the coating on the marshmallow center. Just as the Mikado had its marshmallow enhanced with a slightly crunchy coating of coconut, the same affect is achieved here but instead of coconut we have…sugar. Yes. That’s right. Plain ol’ granulated sugar. The sugar adds sweetness and texture to the fluffy-and-delicate-but-kinda-flavorless marshmallow.



The Kimberley will stay in my biscuit repertoire for whenever I feel like munching on a soft biscuit and the ginger flavoring makes it stand out from its very sweet, jam-filled, chocolate-covered, caramel-dipped cookie compatriots.

Four years and some change...

Cobh (pronounced "Cove"), Co. Cork: Statue of Annie Moore, the first registered immigrant in the books at Ellis Island, outside the Cobh Heritage Center on the harbor her ship for America sailed from.


Summer, 2004



Fall, 2008

BOTW #5: Fox's Chocolate Chip Crunch Creams

Name: Chocolate Chip Crunch Creams
Producer: Fox’s Biscuits

So if last week’s BOTW was “purty,” this week’s is just plain adorable. As you can see below, the biscuit of this week is a chocolate chip sandwich cookie and what makes it adorable is its size. I tried to take one of those awesome archaeological-style photos of the biscuit next to something familiar to everyone for scale purposes (you know, like when they have meter sticks next to trenches? No? Okay. Fair play to you.) but I didn’t really have anything around me to help…I have coins, but they’re Euro coins so that doesn’t help. My cell phone is also larger than my phone back in the states, so that was a no-go as well. Suffice to say, each biscuit is about the size of a Nilla Wafer. I think? Yeah.

So anyways. Chocolate Chip Crunch Creams are of the frequently found sandwich variety of biscuit and feature two chocolate chip cookies layered with a chocolate cream. Not quite as decadent as Club Milk but considerably fancier than HobNobs, the CCCC (c’mon…it’s a long name and I’m lazy!) is a bit spendier than I would normally invest in (they were on sale in the supermarket this week) but a fun and different treat.

The cookies on the outside are incredibly crunchy (the Brits and the Irish are not quite so fond of the American trend of soft cake-y cookies) and have a distinct oaty flavor studded with mini chunks of chocolate. The overall impression from the cookie is one of a healthier, not-quite-as-sweet version of a full-size chocolate chip cookie.



The chocolate cream filling is really the star of this biscuit. With the consistency of Oreo filling (firm but creamy) and a flavor like when you eat pure Nesquik powder (without the milk) the majority of the chocolate in the CCCC comes from the cream. The combination of crunchy, oaty, and relatively unsweetened cookie and rich chocolate cream is perfect.



As I said, Fox’s biscuits run a bit higher in the price range than I’m normally willing to shell out for a small tube of bikkies but my awesome shopping skills snagged me a deal this week and I am glad I had a chance to give these babies a whirl. I like that they are not overly sweet and of course their relatively small size is just so cute as to be irresistible. The company’s commercials, however, leave something to be desired…but don’t take my word for it! Check out this vaguely creepy New York panda mobster (seriously. His name is Vinnie. And he mispronounces “biscuits”. The English are strange.) shilling the company’s wares…